


Fight Or Flight

by hirusen



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Acts of Kindness, Anxiety Attacks, Binding Rune, Biting, Blood and Injury, Choking, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fighting Back, Forehead Kisses, Hair-pulling, Holding Hands, Hugs, Language, M/M, Manhandling, Memories, My Poor Sweet Misunderstood Child, No Wait On Second Thought, Past Rape/Non-con, Platonic Kissing, Please Don't Kill Me, Please Kill Me, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Aftermath, Rune Removal, Scars, Self-Harm, Tattoos, Triggers, Why Did I Do This To Virgil?, mention of nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 05:58:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13734597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hirusen/pseuds/hirusen





	Fight Or Flight

They were talking as they normally do for one of Thomas's Sanders Sides videos. Their human wasn't having any major issues at the moment, just wanting to spend some time with them in his mindscape. A chill rushed into the room and Deceit was standing before them. "What?!" "Deceit?!" The others took a step back, Virgil holding firm. "Well, well. Look at you, Virgil. Playing protector are we?" "I'm not playing anything, Deceit." He growled, eyes cold as they stared at the Dark Side. Roman took a slow breath, calming his nerves as his hand rested on his sword's hilt, ready to strike at this poison in physical form.

"Why are you here?" Logan growled, trying to stay steady and focus. "What? I can't drop in to say hello to an old friend?" Thomas looked just as lost as the rest of the group, Virgil throwing up a poker face as he felt a cold sweat form on his brow.  _He wouldn't...would he?_ He had doubt; after all, Deceit's been trying hard to get him back. It wouldn't surprise Virgil if he told them his darkest secret. "Old friend?" "You...you asked Virgil the last time you were here if you two were friends..." Roman pointed out, and all eyes were on Anxiety.

"Oh my. And here I thought that you already had a heart-to-heart with them all; have you really been keeping it a secret?" "Doesn't matter. It's in the past now; it's not who I am anymore." "Ah, but you forget how quickly people fall back into bad habits. I wouldn't be as unwelcoming of your return as the others might be." Virgil hissed from the back of his throat; it was the purest threat the man had, and Logan knew it. "Leave, Deceit." Logic spoke, tone icy, but the named Side just chuckled. "If you tell them, Virgil, I'll leave. Swear on my name." Virgil bit his lip; he knew Deceit too well to not second guess that last part, he truly meant his words this time. "...Fine." Patton looked like a puppy and Virgil felt his heart twisting because he knew in a second he was going to look like a kicked puppy.

"Thomas, I...I was once one of your Dark Sides." "...What?" It took everyone a moment to process that, their expression changing from confusion to horror. "I'm not with them anymore, but...Deceit's been trying to get me back for sometime. I was useful to him, leaving you in a mental state of panic, letting you believe him more easily." Roman's eyes softened a little at the self-disgust he saw in the other's eyes. "Why did...you leave them?" "I've told you before, I'm not always the bad guy. I didn't  _want_ to be a Dark Side forever; I wanted to help you. They made it easy for me to leave; they...they did something that betrayed my trust in them, and I started to reach out to you and the others more." Deceit scoffed. "It was a simple mistake, Virg. We're willing to make it up to you, just come back home." "I AM HOME!" He screamed at the man, rage flashing in his eyes.

"And don't you fucking dare call me 'Virg'. I am  **not** your friend, Deceit!" Deceit's eyes darkened. "...Have you ever considered that I wasn't the only one here?" Virgil's shoulders tensed. "Maybe  **he** is someone among you right now? Disguised as someone you hold close to your heart?" Virgil swallowed thickly, throat suddenly feeling dry as his heartbeat quickened. "You know how much **he** would  love to get you alone again." "N-No..." The stutter had them all worried in an instant; Virgil didn't fumble with his words unless he was totally flustered or scared, and his face wasn't red. "You remember what happened right? With  **him**?"

Virgil started to tremble and Deceit smirked, looking like he was in love with what was happening right now. "Don't you worry, my veil, just don't fight back and everything will be alright." Deceit purred with a cackle, enjoying as he sent Virgil into an anxiety attack, eyes showing as he re-lived that moment. "See you soon, my little one." And Deceit was gone, the damage done. Roman rushed over to his boyfriend's side, concerned for him. "Virgil?" He softly spoke, his hand settling on his shoulder for only a second. " _ **NO!**_ " He screamed, shoving him away and started running to the door; Roman reacted quickly, sprinting after him.

Anxiety felt as an arm was coiled around his waist, pulling away from the door, from his freedom. He was flush against the other male's body and he thrashed, trying to headbutt him with the back of his skull. It didn't connect and he was spun around. Panicking, he threw out his hand, his short nails catching skin and he yanked his arm down hard, hearing as the other hissed in pain. Of course, his wrists were caught in his hands, getting slammed into the wall. " _ **LET ME GO!**_ " He shouted, kicking at the man's ankles, wanting to get away from him.

Roman tried to still Virgil, but it was looking to be quite the challenge; he was kicking his legs hard, his arms managing to push forward a few times, scoring more scratches on his face and neck, small lines of blood being drawn from the injuries. "Virgil, stop fighting!" He actually whimpered in fear, fighting him harder. Anxiety lunged and his teeth snared where his neck joined shoulder, sinking in deep and causing Roman to yelp in pain. He didn't have a choice, taking a handful of Virgil's hair and ripping him off his throat, his head getting slammed against the wall. "Stop this, Virgil! I don't want to hurt you!" Virgil was terrified. What was **he** going to do to him this time? And how did **he** know that Roman was the person he held tightest to his heart? Why was **he** doing this? Was it something Deceit came up with? To try and get him back?

Roman growled, snaring both of Virgil's hands in one of his, pinning them above his head and his other went to his throat, squeezing lightly. "Enough of this, Virgil! Stop fighting me!" Finally, Virgil broke, letting out a loud sob as he went limp in the other's hold, his eyes casted towards the ground. " **J-Just**... _ **do-don't**_ _h-hurt me_...p-please..." Roman's heart felt like someone was squeezing it when he saw rivers of tears stain Virgil's face, his eyeshadow streaking down his cheeks. "...Look at me, Virgil." He spoke and he shook his head; he knew it was a bad move, but he didn't want **him** to see that he broke him again; he didn't want to give **him** that power over him once more. After a minute, Virgil was a little confused on why Logan or Patton hadn't said anything upon seeing the other Dark Side.

At the very least, Thomas should be freaking out again, so..? "Virgil, please, look at me." He did so only to sate his own curiosity now, his misted eyes making out Roman's scratched up face.  _His_ Roman. "...Roman?" He nodded as he removed his hand from his throat, keeping his hands pinned in place for now, not wanting Virgil to hurt either him or himself. "Roman..!" He openly cried now, his mind able to shove those memories away, bring him out of his attack and episode. "Come here." Prince Roman hushed as he pulled his lover into his embrace, knowing that in such a state, Virgil didn't want his make-up to stain his clothes, but he didn't care right now. Hearing him weep with such a broken sound in his voice was breaking his heart.

"Bring him here, Roman." Logan spoke, Virgil jumping at the sound of his voice, a soft look now on Logic's face. He was so terrified still, clearly on the cusp of falling into another attack. Virgil let himself be guided to the couch, sitting in the corner, a pillow getting crushed in his arms, still shaking hard. "Virgil, love, what's going on? This isn't your normal anxiety attack." Roman stated, kneeling before the other Side, his eyes and words soft. "...It's PTSD." Morality's words sucked all of the air out of the room. "That's why you came in my room when you had nightmares, isn't it, kiddo?" Virgil numbly nodded his head, tears still falling down his face.

"That would explain the inconsistent cases of his insomnia as well." Logan claimed, a light sigh leaving him. "Virgil, can I ask what happened to you to cause you to have such a serious disorder?" Thomas lightly asked, sitting down on the couch to his right, leaving the left side completely open, hoping that he wouldn't feel trapped. He opened his mouth, trying to say a name, but something--most likely Deceit--kept him from saying it. "One of the Dark Sides, they...they raped me." The blood ran cold in their veins. "Well...it wasn't just one of them; Deceit's raped me too. They all have at one point or another." "What the fuck?! How could they do such a thing?!" Roman yelled, quickly getting up and unwillingly left his boyfriend's side, not wanting to cause him anymore stress than he was already in.

"Deceit did it as a means to artificially create a state of high anxiety in Thomas. The others...I don't know, because they wanted to? Because they found it fun or entertaining?" "Entertaining? Rape is not something one does to amuse themselves!" That was Logan, the fury in his words taking everyone back for a moment. "Was that...when they betrayed your trust?" "Not...at the time no. It was just...something I took; I knew there was no point in trying to fight them, it would've only made things worse for the both of us." Anxiety explained, his eyes flickering to Thomas. "When did this...appalling event finally change your mind about them?" Logan asked, gently placing his hand over Patton's as it coiled tightly into his shirt sleeve. 

"When... **he** raped me. It's like Deceit said, **he** can change his image to appear as the person I hold close to my heart at the time." "And who on earth was that for you back then?" "...Deceit." Roman reeled a little at that. "I knew better than to fully trust him, but back then he used to help me when I had sudden anxiety attacks. If it came down to it, back then, I would put my trust in him if I had no other choice and... **he** knew it." Logan hummed; it helped put into perspective why he was so fast to identify Deceit. "Deceit was...or, well, I guess still is a half decent person when you get to really know him; he tended to pull me away from the others to just spend time together or help me get my mind off things." "Did those outings ever lead to him raping you?"

"Practically all the time, but he was the only one who was never too rough with me, actually taking a couple of minutes to prep me a little." Virgil shook his head. "Don't get me wrong, I want to deck him several times over with a knife, and I'm not trying to paint him in a kind or even good light. But my past with him is what it is. There's nothing I can do to change that." Virgil's shaking calmed a little, reaching out and taking Thomas's hand, the human giving it a little squeeze. "I...I thought that it was Deceit, so I went along with  **him**. I only realized that it wasn't Deceit when **he** called me 'my veil'. They all had a nickname for me, and that was  **his** , not Deceit's." Virgil glanced up when he felt a hand on his arm, giving his boyfriend a weak smile.

"I tried to fight back, but as you can guess, it wasn't enough." "...Can you please show them?" Roman gently asked and his lover nodded. He turned his arm and pulled up the sleeve, hearing the soft inhales from the rest of the group as they saw the clusters of little scars on his wrist and forearm. "It's the same on the other side too." "Are all of these self-inflicted?" "They are. I caught him cutting his wrists one night; I've always though it was because of your anxiety, cutting yourself as a means of emotional release. To think that it was because you were raped..." Virgil pulled Roman closer, taking his hand as well. "This...is the very first time I've ever talked about this." Roman gave him a light glare, wordlessly scolding him for facing something like this alone for so long, but he also understood to some extent; something as traumatic as being raped was never an easy topic to discuss with anyone, even more so with people who you know care about you, but you don't know how they'd react to hearing such a thing happening to you.

"Such a heartfelt moment! I might cry." All eyes were on Deceit as he re-appeared, a familiar knowing look for Virgil in his mis-matched eyes. "Get out! What you did to him is--" "Stop!" Virgil shouted, cutting Roman off and had him and the others turning to look at him, total loss on their faces. "Don't fight, please..." Oh God, hearing how pliant Virgil was right now was creating a seething hurricane inside of the group. "What do you want now, Deceit?" Okay, it was scary to hear such a deathly tone coming from Patton. "Virgil knows. Don't you, my little one?" "Now? B-But..." Roman was furious; Anxiety, the poor man, was still stuck in the submissive headspace from his episode, Deceit completely exploiting that. "Well, you don't have to, unless...you want one of the others to take your place?" "N-No! No! I-I...I'm sorry." Deceit smiled warmly to the ex-Dark Side.

"It's alright, I forgive you, little one." He extend his hand in invitation and Virgil slowly got off the couch, releasing Thomas's and Roman's hands, walking to Deceit and taking his hand. Deceit purred wickedly as he tenderly pushed Virgil's jacket off his shoulders, the Side letting it fall to the floor around his feet. "Love the color change, Virgil. Shows off that pretty skin of yours better." Virgil glanced away, but seemed a little happy at the compliment. "Let's take this off, shall we?" He tapped on Virgil's shirt and he reflexively stripped out of it, distantly picking up as Thomas and the others gasped when they saw his back. "I guess they never saw your tattoos before. A shame, they are nice pieces." A set of black wings engulfed Anxiety's shoulder blades and most of his back, his spine untouched by the ink save for a small rune at the base of his spine.

Deceit took off one of his gloves, reaching around Virgil's chest and placed his hand over the rune. "What are--" "Hush." Deceit chipped and Roman's hand flew over his mouth, silencing him. Virgil gasped as he felt Deceit's power push into his body around the binding; it was something he put on him as soon as they met to keep him from changing into something that would cause Thomas to be heavily medicated or even hospitalized. Deceit slid his hand off Virgil's body and he felt as the rune faded from his skin. "...What?" "There's no need for you to bare that anymore; you have people in your life that will keep you from changing into something dangerous. Besides, I know they are your home now; I may be cruel and untrustworthy, but I'm not entirely heartless." Deceit whispered, his bare hand coming to rest on Virgil's waist.

"Y-You mean..?" "Yes, my little one. There's no longer a need for me to bind your powers under my control. Though, you should take some time to practice using them again." Virgil didn't know what to do or even say; it's rare for Deceit to show this level of kindness. His headspace started to clear up, and though he was still submissive, he was more than willing to unleash his freed powers against the Dark Side if need be. Deceit said nothing for a minute, brushing back Virgil's bangs and leaning forward, planting a soft kiss to his forehead. To his surprise, Thomas's anxiety reached for his other hand and took off the glove, Deceit eagerly pulling the male closer to his body; Virgil sighed, slightly content. He forgot just how good Deceit's hands felt against his skin. "Are...you still going to...to rape me?" He was afraid that if he was, Deceit wasn't going to take him away from here.

"No. If you'd like to have sex with me, I'd be happy to." "...Do you mean that?" Deceit nodded his head. The ex-Dark Side was harshly torn; he knew that Deceit never lied in moments of kindness, and Virgil had to admit he was highly curious on what actual sex, not rape, with Deceit would be like, but at the same time, he knew that shouldn't even be contemplating the offer, just refusing it outright. Deceit chuckled under his breath after a long moment, catching Virgil's attention. "It's only an offer, one that will stand for as long as you'd like and one you don't even have to take." Virgil nodded. "I'll be taking my leave, my little one. Come visit if you'd like; I'll always welcome you." Before he vanished again, Virgil snaked his arms around Deceit's shoulders, stunning everyone in the room. "...Thank you. For...for the good you've done for me." Deceit's coy expression softened, a real smile on his lips as he returned the embrace. "You're welcome, little one." And for sure this time, Deceit was gone.

"...Are you alright, kiddo?" Patton asked as Virgil picked up his shirt, slipping it along with his jacket back on. "Yeah. Honestly, I am." He reassured before getting swallowed in Roman's embrace. "For fucks sake, I was so worried!" Virgil weakly laughed, leaning further in Roman's arms and kissing him sweetly. "I'm okay, Princey. Relax." "How the fuck can I relax?!" "Oh my God..." Logan groaned before he was pressed against Virgil's back, leaning over his shoulder to kiss Roman himself. It certainly shut him up. He then took Anxiety's chin in his fingers, tilting it up before kissing him as well. Patton was quick to follow, giving the duo a sweet kiss before giving each a little peck on their cheeks too. Thomas was the last one, giving both Roman and Virgil a passionate kiss; Virgil took the chance to slide out of Roman's arms and into Thomas's, deepening the kiss a little.

"Huh...I guess I've got another way to calm down." Virgil tenderly giggled as he rested his head in the nook of Thomas's neck, the human laughing warmly. "I think Roman's gonna get jealous of how much I steal you away to kiss you." "Or invite you into bed, hard to say." Both Thomas and Roman stuttered, Patton laughing giddily at their reactions while Logan only chuckled. "Looks like your injuries have already healed, Roman." Logan stated and Virgil sighed in relief; Roman was always a ridiculously fast healer, having things like paper cuts fully heal within 30 minutes of him getting them. "So...does this mean we're all...together, or..?" "I think this is more...platonic. I mean, I love you guys to death, but I don't really feel the same way for you as I do for Roman." Thomas smiled to Virgil, taking his hand again. "If that's what this is, for now hopefully, then I'm happy." "As am I." "Me too!" Roman grinned brightly to the others, tugging Virgil a little closer to him. Anxiety settled against him, holding Thomas's hand a little tighter as he offered a warm expression to Logan and Patton.

He finally felt like he was back home.


End file.
